notes for 'My Friends & Other Aliens'

brief notes on "My Friends & Other Aliens"

It started when I was small, really small. Before I could speak and before I could move about freely on my own. I was perhaps less than a year old. They were really nice. The big one was like a grandma. That's how she described herself when I eventually asked who they were; who she was to me.*

I began experiencing these night time parties before I had learnt that these kind of experiences were thought to be make believe, so it all seemed to make sense at the time. I asked a lot of questions and their answers were always perfect for the mind of a small boy with limited reference in the real world. I'm sure I grew from these sessions. I wanted to know things like what stars are for and why can't we fly.

The little one was really nervous when we were first introduced and for a long while too. It moved very fast which I always found exhilarating to watch. I later discovered part of the exhilaration I felt was associated with the way it manipulated space time to move around in our physical space. It created a weird energy almost as if it's thoughts and feelings spun around the room when it moved.

The little one was twinned with me somehow. It was like my space buddy. I knew we were both children and we were to learn from each other as we grew. They somehow got our essence to share and it was the cutest little thing a boy could imagine. It was very scared of me which I found frustrating. If I ever reached out to it, it would visibly shake and sometimes almost disappear becoming translucent. We eventually learnt to trust each other through games & touch. We played a kind of hide and seek. I would get excited and laugh, it would cower and hide. When I learnt how sensitive it was, I developed a way of restraining my thoughts so as not to upset it. It was scared by my physicality. It was perhaps one of the most important things I learnt not to do.

I suppose it was like putting a kitten in with a bear cub. I had no intention to hurt it but a clumsy manchild with exuberance was big stuff to a small being of light. I suppose it was like a little sponge. It felt everything all at once. It never spoke to me but communicated with powerful feelings of fear, love, happiness, worry, all distinguishable from my own feelings (externalised in the room). I learned to communicate in this way, by thinking of experience and releasing feelings as energy.

Froglet (so called because of it's resemblance to a young amphibious creature with beautiful glassy wraparound eyes) and I became good friends. Eventually some 3o years later, we met face to face, in an out of body experience and then through lucid dreams.

I grew up with a love of baby animals and became fascinated from aged 3 or four with the study of all things possessing big shiny black eyes. Beetles, bees and ants seemed familiar and I guessed that (they) might have come from an evolutionary line of colony insects.

I later came to know that insects were the real success stories of evolution and had lasted for millions of years on earth so it didn't seem that odd to imagine big space insects had evolved to way beyond our mammalian forms.

They seemed so very magical and when i started school, I heard a description of angels..i thought the teachers were wrong; that i had actually met them and "they don't look like humans with wings at all, instead they looked like insects"..the descriptions I had heard of angels seemed to fit their behaviour and relationship to us. They seemed very spiritual, loving and not quite real.

When I eventually met froglet much later as an adult, I studied (him) very carefully and he had muscles and bones just like us, very elegant and slender, two eyes, a small smiling mouth and tiny nub of a nose. he was white like chalk and seemed to glow with an irridescence, similar to the chromatophores of squid and cuttlefish.. i eventually made a portrait of him in chalk after many unsuccessful drawings in pencil..

As a child, I longed to look through microscopes into tiny unseen worlds and through binoculars, which has become part of my creative artwork as an adult...and deep into the night sky where I now knew millions of suns were home to countless civilisations.

I grew to miss (them) my friends when they weren't there. It was episodic. Periods of contact with long periods of searching for clues to their whereabouts and origins in history books and exhibitions of primitive cultures, in legends and myths, science fiction films & stories of old.

I would eventually become something of an expert about UFO's and their history on earth through my own research. I read all the seminal texts on the subject by all the leading investigators and by cross examination of thousands of stories and repeating articles, found not only that I was not alone in my experiences but which parts of the myriad stories got repeated enough by different people to bear a resemblance what might be true. What was secretly happening on planet earth, hidden from a huge majority of an unsuspecting public who slowly were being acclimatised through sci-fi, while all of this happened in everyday lives.

They seemed to visit in the summer months when the days were long and the air was warm. I came to associate thunder storms with their arrival and would sit in the lilac tree facing the park, watching the sheets of lightning light up the sky, waiting for their arrival with their glowing lights.

*I asked her who she was to me and she said “like a Grandmother loves her children's children, even though they're not her own, it's kind of like that". Her telepathic voice was very human, perhaps that's the wrong word, but funny, patient, full of compassion and empathy a really cool person. She never got angry or frustrated but would often laugh at my innocent questions. We would share humour with learning and her way of explaining complicated things was often accompanied by what appeared to be a projection on my bedroom wall. t.b.c

my lucid dreams

Lucid dreams

I always wanted to lucid dream. I wanted a nova dreamer from being a teenager but never got one. They got more expensive and I never seemed to have the money. I was telling Iain one day that I'd love to get one. That very night, to my surprise, I had my first real lucid dream. I had had a few flying dreams in the past but was never lucid and always found it hard to keep flying for long.

Dream 1 - I was underneath the flight path of aeroplanes in Liverpool. My mum turned up in the car with her aunt Gladys. We were picking up my grandma from the airport. I realised at this point that they were both dead and this stimulated my lucidity, “this must be a dream”.
At this point I turned away from the scene and was standing at the pier head. Facing the liver buildings. Grey concrete and stone. I suddenly thought I would experiment and see what happened. I focused my attention on creating a grassy landscape which transformed the scene. I was now standing on a grassy bank facing the river. “ a coral green sea, I thought” and the brown river turned to a shallow green sea like the Aegean. I could see the bottom and features like reefs. The sky was still grey and this took a lot of concentration to clear, I thought hard and the clouds blew apart revealing a beautiful blue sky with beaming sunshine. “a boat” I thought and it appeared beneath my feet, where I was standing. “what kind of boat?” a speedboat, with a steering wheel, which appeared in my hands and a paddle throttle which appeared in my other hand and as it does i push it forward and off we go. I'm cruising across this sea until I'm quite far out and the water is now dark and deep. Then the shock. To my right I can see a set of barbershop poles sticking out of the water, to my horror I suddenly realise I didn't make them appear. I know they represent “humphries” from the milk board ads of the seventies, which scared the pants off me aged 5. I realised that this represented some deep subconscious fear but was nonetheless surprised that this feature could enter my lucid dream. I turned back to the coast and pulled in at the Albert dock where the dream continued but the lucidity slowly wore off and I was back in a normal dream.

Dream 2 - I am walking along an idyllic countrylane. It is high summer high grass on each side with trees dappling the light and on a gentle downward slope. Very nice and one of my ideal locations. (It reminded me of the country lanes near Ross-on-Wye) I was having difficulty walking as you sometimes do in a dream. It was hard work locomoting and I was a bit stuck, getting tired i start hopping like a frog using my arms to propel me along. the jumps get longer and longer and I recognised another hallmark of a dream. (the frog jump is something i know other people have said they have experienced in a dream so that maybe what triggers the lucidity.) I suddenly broke free and ran then jumped into the air spreading my arms to gain uplift, no conscious requirement to fly, just using the wind. A breeze carried me as I flew off turning up and into the wind I was carried high flying like Superman. I was carried up and up until I came to a tower. Like Spiderman I grabbed and clung to the side of the wall, (I felt very light) and climbed inside to sit on a sill. It was early morning pre-dawn with a dark pink sky and I was so high I could see the whole of the Thames estuary meandering and leading to the sea with industrial buildings and lights along the banks. It was eerily beautiful and I was thinking that I'd never seen this view before and wondering where I was. It felt like Greenwich or somewhere thereabouts. I then climbed into the tower and walked down a spiral staircase. I was back to nearly where I had started in the dream and it was a big country house. There was a party going on and the lucidity wore off as I entered the ground floor where much merriment was happening. Dream 3 – I am in liverpool it is night time. I think hang on this landscape is wrong. This is a dream. I immediately took off to fly the night sky using the mental power of flight. It took a lot of concentration but I knew the higher I flew the easier I could glide. It was amazing, I saw a tower block and through the window was my ex girlfriend asleep in bed as if in a holiday apartment. I flew though the glass and picked her up still asleep. I carried her off, she was partly awake and smiling. I remember thinking that she would be dreaming this. I flew her back and put her gently back in the room without waking her. I then flew around London exploring the birds eye view. I flew across the top of the natural history museum and was fascinated to see the architectural details that you never get close to. I noticed two young men sitting on the roof and flew over to them. I said you're lucid dreaming too, they nodded and smiled. I sat with them for a minute then I rose higher and higher over outer London and was looking down on rows of houses, lots of fields and rows of allotments. It was just before dawn and very evocative. I thought, I know, I'll go and see the aliens ! I flew up to the windowsill of a Victorian house on the fourth or fifth floor. And sat on the windowsill, I entered the window through a billowing net curtain. A dark attic room with 20's furniture. Very quiet I sat on the bed to take a rest. Where are they ? I sat on the bed facing a mirror and in the dark I saw something flit behind me. I turned round. Nothing, I turned to look and there sitting next to me was this small form. The head covered with a silken handkerchief. It wouldn't let me see it's face but extended a small delicate alien hand and we communed for a while. I think that was the end of the dream.

Dream 4 – I awoke and was kind of in Lynton Close where my mum lived years ago but I was also on the main road ( Brodie avenue ) around the corner where a tree lined verge divided the wide road I tried to fly but could only jump. I was trying really hard to fly but it was like being in slow motion. So I ran along jumping like a ninja. At one point I jumped a kerb to cross a road and stopped in mid -air like the matrix. The feeling was amazing. I could scale trees with the lightest of ease and was turning acrobatic moves with precision control of 3d space. I was still trying to fly but couldn't seem to get above about 10-15 feet. At this point I noticed a kid watching me and he was amazed. How do you do that he said. I tried to show but he couldn't get it although he was following me doing his best to imitate my ninja moves. After a while of this and a small bunch of kids following me I was back to where I started. I needed a pew and thought this might have been stopping me from flying. So I climbed onto the garage roof of number 7 Lynton close. There was a lip about a foot high and I crouched behind it, had a poo and stood up feeling lighter. I was trying really hard mentally to fly remembering that it required thought not wings. I couldn't take off and was puzzled. So I flapped my arms like wings and slowly took off. I found this amusing and flapped harder going higher and higher straight up. When I was at about a 100 feet I could see the south bank of the river Thames below near London bridge and there were people walking below. I wondered that if they looked up they would be amazed. I saw the opposite side of the Thames and thought I would fly across it. I then thought that I might drop in the water and decided not to. I think there was a bit more, I came down and was back in the real world. I think the dream continued for a bit but lucidity wore off.

Dream 5 – I was in the park, Calderstones, it was night. I had an air rifle and was practising shooting targets. I suddenly became aware that there police and military personnel and somehow I knew they were looking for a dangerous person with a gun, not me but some crazy madman. I threw the gun thinking that they might mistake me for the madman. I was apprehended, questioned in the back of a van. It was odd and not very nice. “What are you doing here in the middle of the night” ? Nothing. Etc. they had located the guy and in the rush, I slipped away and ran and ran. I was now on Jericho lane, although it was also the dock road but a new road and not one I was familiar with. I was walking down the middle of the road and
A white limousine type car pulled up behind me with blacked out windows and this window opened slowly and a horrible gangster type started giving me stick for being in the road. I kind of said fuck off and this made them angry. There was a few of them in the car and they were drinking,etc looked like they were on their way home from a party. I started to run as they were trying to run me over and I'm semi-lucid but in this dream not in control !!! I'm thinking watch this suckers as I decided to fly away. I am desperately trying to fly but my flying powers have evaporated, which puzzles me. Instead I run up a grass verge and I'm away into the bushes over a fence and gone, End.

Dream 6 – I am in south London, it is about 2am, I am this nightclub, hotel it's hot and sweaty and I am walking down this corridor to the sauna in my white underpants. This drunk guy starts chatting to me and I can see in his eyes somethings up. He tries to molest me and he's grabbing at my trunks. He tried to grab my testicles and I'm angry now. This is distressing and I have to fight him off, literally pushing him to the floor and standing on his legs to get away. Although he is still protesting at my attitude, I'm like scared and feel vulnerable. I go outside and I am in the street. I suddenly realise this is not south London it's a dream. I immediately take off and fly heading towards home. I pass over old industrial places near old street and it's spooky dark and cold. I can see people, it's new years eve and I'm watching fireworks from a different perspective and I can see people below wandering about drunk. I am very quiet and it's dark and they can't see me. I am about 70-80 feet and I am really cold. I have no clothes on and I see a block of flats with the windows lit up. It looks like bethnal green. There is a party with people my age / type and I fly up to the window. I tap on the window and a few people in the room freak out. There's a guy flying outside the flat and a few people move to the kitchen looking out at me from both windows.. I am freezing and mouthing / motioning to let me in, a guy opens the window and is like what the fuck, “are you a ghost or something” I say no just please let me in I am really cold. This guy opens balcony windows and I climb in. the people all back off and I can't explain my situation to them. A few people are so off their heads they thinks it's really funny. “can I have something to wear” a guy who seems pretty cool considering the situation goes and gets me a tshirt and some jeans. I thank him, get dressed and sit in the kitchen. A few people are quizzing me and I'm explaining that I'm in a lucid dream and was just passing when I realised how cold I am. I then leave down the stairs as everyone surveys me pointing and puzzled to themselves trying to work it out. I am back outside and I walk for a while. I'm still in an old dark part of London and it's not very nice, it's quiet and still dark. I can see a couple of dodgy hoods looking at me, working out how to mug me. I just quietly slip above them to about 20 feet and they are like where did he go. They look up and see me hovering over them and they freak out and run away. I decide it's time to go see the aliens. I am flying up this canal almost on a wire or something, which goes uphill in stages like a lock but the water runs upwards too. It's like I'm on autopilot. As I go further and higher the high concrete walls of the canal are slowly becoming more covered in vines and before long it looks like the amazon. I see some skyscrapers to my left and I see three people sitting on a ledge where a billboard is situated. I land near them. As they become closer I can see that their faces are not human. Two guys and one woman. Their faces are like triangular with a wedge shaped face and features. They have a leopard spot effect on their skin, but skin coloured and as I approach them they morph into human shape and the spots disappear. We talk for a while about what, I can't remember and then that's the end of the dream.

it seems that being cold or not deeply asleep can trigger the lucidity. just the other night i was in dream and i had 'sticky feet' again. it was exhausting trying to walk and i eventually found it easier to walk backwards but this time i didn't become lucid. i am trying to find a visual trigger but perhaps the hallmark of a dream

assorted poems

Planets Mind

My beliefs are different to some that i've been told

I think the universe for example is extremely old

I also think that nature is so large it can't be rare

to find a planet, upright bipeds, two eyes and some hair.

I've seen a ghost in action and I've seen a ufo

I've felt vague telepathic thoughts

and sometimes even know

what's going to happen next

a bit like de ja vu

I've dreamt of future happenings

that sometimes...come true

i think our planet is a creature living and with senses

we as humans are its brain, after jumping countless fences

jung talked about a place, a repository of thoughts,

the planets inner world of dreams, a subconscious of sorts

all moments and all life that ever looked upon the shore

is captured in the planets mind and kept forever more

this place we know as heaven or nirvana in our dreams

inhabited with legendary figures in their reams

we only just begin to grasp the nature of our selves

to include beasts and plants and aliens and even elves

Wormhole

a wormhole is a good way to get from A to B

without the need for lightspeed

to put it simply

a tunnel bridging points in space

as far as stars apart

a shortcut through the fabric

of our universes heart

it's not an engineering feat

that we can construct

but without it, if we want to travel far and wide

we're f****d

Parity

countless folk are broke

but still a few have many

things that they dont need

that certainly dont feed

much more than over

stimulated unecessary greed

the world is large and round

but mostly not of ground

and water there is plenty

but not that much to drink

land is always grabbed from

those to tend to need it

those who cant afford to buy food

but who grow it and they feed it

to their children and their families

there's never much left over

a little cash to buy scant goods

a second hand pullover

H51N UK

chicken flu chicken flu where are you

you came across a mountain

and i'm sure i heard atchoo'

a swan was diagnosed

as dead of certain causes

enough to fill with dread

some people from all quarters

an epidemic forecast

a plan to act in time

lets see if this blows over

or something less sublime

The Dance

the story makes for quite a dance

the consciousness within a trance

for all is well and well is good

and good is how it damn well should

be for the story must go on

as a show would star or none

a chapter opens another folds

a mother suckles bread grows moulds

a tadpole turns into a frog

whilst fungus eats upon a log

the forest is a home to many

cities burn and people bury

memories rubbish dreams ideas

the world is also full of seers

as minds evolve they co-create

a deepening division based on hate

while loves still flourishes

theres a chance that we continue

on the dance

freedom passes hand from hand

laws and customs through the land

pigeons beckon food for all

homeless people 'seen it all'

buses tramways cars collide

rock our boats the ground doth slide

FO’s

ufos are strange old things

aliens, plain weird

some have big round bulbous heads

and others have a beard

flying saucers come and go

and sightings are quite clearly

evidence of ET life but humans hold on dearly

to the notion that we as people are utterly unique

i find the thought that we're alone in space so vast, so bleak

planets, moons and oceans are a common element

of a greater scheme of nature

whose discovery we are meant

to find in time to save ourselves

from early doors as species

a better fate than current course

to die in our own faeces

String Theory

one string 2 string

red string blue string

are you like spaghetti

or are you like a shoestring

do you coil infinitely

or represent infinity

is your course pre-set to go

or are you flotsam in the flow

your mathematical ambiguity

creates a shroud of emnity

so science and humanity

are yearning for acuity

like maker you cannot be proved

the act of looking shows you moved

a forced observance stretches mind

of our weak ill enabled kind

a creature trapped in beast and blood

seeks further knowledge for own good

so keep your secrets locked away

until a more enlightened day

the power coiled within your spring

increases danger it may bring

a warring animal like man

would use your beauty how it can

to secure resources and time

we are not ready

do not unwind

Untime

gaia states that earth's a living creature

but what if our home planet's just a feature

of a system that's been going

for longer thank we think

where universe events that live and die in just a wink

in the eye of an uncreature

in a garden made of rhyme

who sits watching seasons pass along

the river of untime

Wind Mill

wind mill

turning blade

clean and safe

why oppose on grounds

of views

unsightly landscapes

instead it's said that nuclear is

better

although radioactivity is known to last forever

almost anyway

time that we can't contemplate

harnessing free energy

becomes our generations fate

Superluminal

far, near where's the seer ?

up above, around you,

what could make things far more clear ?

an Object Flying, perhaps two,

mind of photonic twinned pair

leads all the way to much flight

steady uphill climb there

to a future that is all bright

zero point energy field

sitting in the dark

waiting for a switch to yield

more power gleaned as per quark

than all the science ever thought

that energy could hold

a secret source some would purport

of secrets known untold.

the dreams of science fiction

realised within the year

the overcome of friction

leading final death of fear

a pleasant sky with untold hope

a smile upon all faces

when once in dark did humans grope

for contact with space races.

all is calm and all is clear

gravity leaks within

a little comprehension allows

far travel at your whim